Dec 2010
I’m amazed by God’s power and mercy to restore, to heal, to make new, to forgive, to strengthen and steady. He is so jealous for our love. My maker is my husband. He came to me, asked me for my hand, made me a spotless bride by washing me with his blood. He invited me into bridal partnership, to spend a life of eternity with him. Yet I have committed adultery against him, I have not been faithful. I have given what belongs to him over to other things, to lesser pleasures. I have defiled his temple in which his Spirit came to dwell. I have not given him all the love and adoration he deserves. I have chosen love for self instead of love for him. I have broken my promises, my vows, yet he has never broken one. My love toward him is so self-seeking, how needy and desperate I am! Without his love I am an empty tank desperately longing to be filled. And oh how he has poured out his love on me, in a measure I do not deserve. He has shed it abroad in my heart through his Holy Spirit. For he sent the Spirit of His Son into my heart, the Spirit of Jesus that cries, Abba, Father!
“He is a good, good God
A glad, glad Father,
A happy, happy heart,
And he delights in me!”
“Oh the King is enthralled with your beauty!” Song of Solomon-He is my lover
Over and over again he has showed his love for me, and oh, a broken and contrite heart he has not despised, he has not turned me away, he has never rejected me. Though I have sinned against him. I broke his heart, and then mine broke when I could no longer forsake my first love, and I despised myself and repented in dust and ashes. Oh but how his mercies come to allure me back into his love. Back to that true love that is pure, from above, that is patient and kind, a love unconditional.
He trades our dirty rags for garments of praise! Our ashes for beauty!
Though I was unclean, he washed me and made me white as snow.
I feel his heart beat for me with love as he calls out to me, My darling, oh My beloved! Come away with me, come, let us run together! (Songs of Solomon)
All my empty promises are broken at his feet
In my brokenness he restores me, my tears are my food,
Through them I feel his restoring love, he’s a glad worker operating on my heart,
Such longing and desire in my soul for his love breaks forth in weeping
I’m so overwhelmed, I’m desperate for even more desperation, that I might fall into a sweet surrender as my heart abandons all and becomes one with his.
Yet it would break under his crushing love if he poured it out, I can only stand a drop, so he lavishes it on me with such gentleness and tenderness. Oh that I would love him back more and more!
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