The process of love

March 27
“The Process of Love” Danny Silk (http://www.ibethel.org/site/)
How do you know if you’re ready to get married? If you’re ready for covenant?
Galatians 4:1- people who were saved by love & grace were wooed back into following the rituals of the law by the Jews; the law was like a tutor that shaped God’s people until the appointed time when faith came
The Servant Phase/Level: There’s a process in which we’re groomed into maturity, & ultimately into love. It’s a phase of dependency where you’re learning obedience.
It starts with the level of a servant, it’s a dependent relationship, meaning that your not in charge of your own needs getting met, you’re waiting for instructions, for direction, your life is not your own.
The danger of living in a grace revival where we hear about being sons & daughters of the most high God where we are free is that we miss step one, we skip over the process that creates an internal world that can handle freedom & unlimited resources.
You learn how to sacrifice, how to give, how to help, how to respond to the external world, how to give out of your place of need, how to sacrifice in relationships.
A lot of people get damaged, experience neglect or abuse so they try to get away from the servant place to never have to submit again to a master.
As a servant you don’t get to understand the “why,” it’s a phase of learning trust
The Son/Daughter Level: A phase of independence, of choice. Learning to master your freedom, your choices, to master yourself. It’s the place where we learn to receive love, to lay our life down.
Luke 15:17-the prodigal son, he has disdain & disrespect for his father, asking his father for his inheritance is the equivalent of saying “i wish you were dead.” After squandering the inheritance & he is left with nothing, he remembers that he is a son, & remembers his father to be merciful & a safe place to go, so decides to go back to him.
Jumping over the servant phase to get to the Father’s goods will come up when it comes time for you to love.
A son experiences through failure an unconditional love source. Nothing you do can change the Father’s love towards you. The prodigal son punishes himself saying he will be a servant in his father’s house. Though he has shame, he knows his father will receive him.
You struggle with losing value b/c you’re not perfect. You will relate to your children with that same performance mentality. The lessons we learn as a son help us to become a father. Jesus said he no longer calls us servants, but friends. The servant doesn’t know what’s in his master’s heart. We have a new identity, we have access to new information. We know why we do the things we do, why we conduct ourselves the way we do, why we make the choices we do.
The Level of Lover: Not only do we make choices, but we can make a covenant now.
Revelations 19. Coming out of place of being unconditionally loved forever as a son, we have strength to receive & give love. The fears of abandonment & the orphan spirit has to be put off, it keeps us from being lovers. The motivation of a lover is to enter into a covenant for the benefit of the other, not to get something for your self.