Awakened inside by beauty

May 22, 2010
His beautiful creation screams LOVE!! The depth, the height, the width, the length of His love!!
This Thursday I went to Wrightsville Beach for the day with Veronica and her mom Marina, and I felt SO alive for the first time in so long. The whole time there I couldn’t stop singing, dancing and praising God running back and forth along the water so amazed by the beauty of God’s creation! B/c it has been so uncommon to be in the midst of such beauty, my soul felt awakened and stirred in a powerful way. The next day having to come into work at the hospital I felt tired from lacking sleep, but even more my soul felt so depressed and downcast at seeing the same old whitewashed walls and confined office space in comparison to the striking beauty of the endless ocean waters and sky with the never-ending crashing waves that seem to give praise continuously to the Lord every time they wash over the sand! The light of the sun reflecting off the water radiating such glory, the feeling of the soft ground under my feet and the tender sand between my fingers when the waves wash over it, the feeling of the ocean on my skin like healing waters, every time a wave washes over me its like the love of the Lord being lavished upon me, it makes me giggle with joy, the wide open spaces that make you spread your arms wide and feel so FREE, an unfading beautiful glory that makes me long for heaven, it constantly ministers to my soul, my voice is lost in the waves as songs flow from my heart in worship to my Creator God, to my wonderful Savior who gave it all for me, I feel so FULL of joy and peace, I wish I could be lost in this world forever, never leave it…it’s what I was made for. It’s the presence of God, all around, He’s captivating. There’s so much more depth in me than I realize until it is awakened and comes alive again. I’m so used to just feeling the surface and being deadened by apathy, tiredness and discouragement, I forget what its like to feel fully alive. It’s painful to realize what we’re missing out on when we finally experience it again. Yesterday I faced that, and it brought me to tears. I want to be alive in this way and experience God and walk with Him daily, yet why is so hard sometimes when I'm in places I don't want to be? Being in prison or facing persecution didn't stop the supernatural flow in Paul's life or his worship to the Lord. So why should the little problems in my life or my boring job keep me from experiencing it? I think I'm learning this very slowly, but I hope that one day I can come to understand how to live every day with the life of this love flowing in me. For as Paul said, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" Galatians 2:20.