A call to relationship

April 2013
The other night I felt like the Lord took me in my mind to the story of the prodigal son, and showed me this independent spirit in the son that's also in me. He was a son in the Father's house, but didn't know all of the Father. He knew that his Father was gracious and merciful and forgiving, and that he could return to Him and be accepted back into His house even after his rebellion. But he thought that he would have to take the position of a slave, which was probably the very belief/attitude he had all along and that drove him away in the first place. And his brother had this same belief, not understanding his identity as a son, but thinking he had to serve His father and be good enough in order to earn something from Him. He was angry when his repentful brother returned and the Father lavished him with the best He had, and said, "Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me..." (Luke 15:28)
The first son had demanded from the Father what was to be given to him at an appointed time. He was saying, 'Give me my inheritance now. Give me the lot that belongs to me.' The Lord let me see that I've had this same demanding attitude with Him (which I've sometimes mistaken as 'faith'). I've said, "Healing is my inheritance in Christ. It is rightfully mine, because I'm a son, a daughter in your house. Why won't you give it to me now? I've labored for it, I've committed myself to serve you, and I must be healed to be used by you to bring your salvation to the nations, to the peoples that do not know you." There's that prospect of a far-off land that the son had too. Relationship was not a priority for the son, but rather the individual needs/desires he had. He probably saw no need to cleave to his Father--to mature, to nurture an identity. There was something he saw that was better and more important that allured him away, and he saw no need to wait for it. 'I want it now.' But he was immature, and wasted it all in a short time. He had no ability to steward it rightly. His priorities were wrong, he was driven by selfish motives. There was a need for him to stay, to abide, to learn trust and dependence on Abba. Demanding our individual rights, thinking that we can take something that 'belongs to us' and that we can go use it as we think fit, doesn't come from a identity of sonship, but a slave mentality--one that has to beg and strive for it. I saw this in myself, that I haven't wanted to just abide and wait, except when it's easy.

John 15:15- "I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth.."

But He sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts by which we cry 'Abba! Father!' When our identity is fully rooted in Him, we won't be so swayed by the opinions of man and the ways of the world. Abba says 'stay near to me, let me take care of you, I will teach you of My ways and lead you in my paths of righteousness..."